No matter how old we are, we as children need our parents more than we realise. They are the ones who gave us life, who took care of us from day one and who never stopped a minute loving us. They protected us and did the best they could with what they had. In this article, I will explore the key reasons of the children-parent relationship that include the what, the why, the how the mistakes that can take place between both sides and how this can affect the life and development of the children.
What is the problem
Why is the parent-child relationship so important
Parents offer their children, unconditional love and there is nothing that children can do to stop this. When babies are born, they require human touch otherwise it is said that they can develop a condition called “Failure to Thrive”. This condition can be caused by other factors also, but basically, it means that the child isn’t gaining enough weight and height as supposed to, and this will get worse and worse over time.
When we are growing up, we rely on our parents for almost everything. Food, clothes, shelter, love, a playing partner and someone to talk with. Our parents are our role models, even if we like it or not. When we are young, we don’t realise that we do have a choice and due to this we copy every action our parents make. If we are lucky to have great parents, who dedicate all their time to us, teach us, communicate with us, this will help immensely in our future development.
A child requires dedication, requires time, requires strength. All of these “superpowers” are generated and replenished by the most powerful source in the world, that is love.
How parents are influencing their children
Parents have to make their children understand that they can speak everything they feel the need to, with them.
Parents also need to be there for kids, to communicate with them, to explain to them what is right or wrong, to guide them in life and share their accumulated knowledge and experiences. Parents have to be their children’s best friends, spiritual guides and psychotherapists, all at the same time, 24/7.
We, as their children, need them to push us to into following our dreams, to convince us to never give up, to show us how to stand for ourselves, to empower and to explain to us what humility is.
Mistakes that parents make
- So many children become introverts simply because their parents never encouraged them to speak, they were never allowed to question their parent’s motives, to challenge them and to negotiate.
- In some cases children are a bit unfortunate than others as they don’t have a mom or dad, maybe one of their parents is a drug addict… the list can go on.
- Kids are unable in the first years of their life to distinguish between right or wrong and would not understand what might be happening at all times. They will, unfortunately, miss most of the benefits of receiving unconditional love, the advantage of having a parent close to them that will make them feel secure and protected.
- Another pattern occurs when children have both parents close to them and yet they feel lonely. This is happening when their parents either work until late in the night and leave the children in the care of a babysitter. It could also be that they simply won’t give enough attention to their children.
- Some parents are so focused on their careers, on the incessant need for the accumulation of money and possessions, that involuntarily they neglect family and the ones who need them the most, their kids.
- Getting the little one’s sweets and all the toys they desire will never compensate all the moments spent away from them, all the times they were alone at home, with their babysitter whilst the parents were in at the office, working for something or someone that isn’t making them happy.
- Having a child is the most important decision someone can take in his or her life and should be thought through thousand of times before making this step. If the decision of having a baby is taken solely because society expects this from us, once we pass a certain age or once we get married, then this is the most ridiculous thing I ever.
I walk on the streets of London and I see how kids that are not even two years old, in baby prams, hold a phone in their hands, hypnotised. They then go home and instead of craving their parents love and attention, they crave the phone or tablet because these offer a quick and efficient way of gratification. They ask for someone to talk with them and that something is no further away than a push of a button.
The other odd thing that I see is kids that are at least 3 or 4 years old, more than capable of walking, again in baby prams. I don’t know about you, but apparently, I was able to escape my pram when I was only 1 year and a half. In my opinion, the impact of kids being carried everywhere, give a phone or table to shut up and behave will affect them very much in their life.
I refuse to accept the idea that our parents completely agree with us giving our children, respectively their grandchildren, a phone to watch when they cry, carry them all over in a baby pram just because they are easier to control. Or when we leave them in front of the TV just because we will then have more time for ourselves.
We need our parents, we need them to never stop believing in us, to push us from the back, we need them to tell us the truth when we can’t see it and we need them to empower us.
I believe that at the moment, children are shaped by society into a generation of strangers, a generation of no face-to-face communicators. We will witness a generation of hunchbacks, headphone listeners, of robots. If we believe that computers haven’t taken control of the world and its population, I advise you to look again and observe.
We, as children, must understand that our parents are not perfect and we should never ask them for perfection. We should tell them, “I love you” more often, hug them everytime we see them. They did the best they could, with the resources they had, and we owe it to them to carry and apply this forward, with our children, and do the same and if possible even better.
Please take care of your parents, call them now and tell them how much you love them. They need to hear this from you more often than you think.